What follows is a set of philosophical or metaphysical statements loosely associated with the 'New Age movement'. I have expanded these with particular emphasis on their application to relationships. All that follows are personal beliefs and should not be taken as ultimate truths - we are all on a personal journey of constant learning. If I write this again in a years' time it could be completely different.

Here is your assignment:

1) You will receive a body: You may like it or not but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

It will be a wonderful world when everyone loves their body. The clothing industry in warm climes will go out of business! There are many causes of relationship problems and physical inhibitions feature strongly as one of them. Only when you have truly accepted your body can you experience the best a relationship has to offer in the physical dimension.

2) You will learn lessons: You are enrolled in an informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them stupid and irrelevant.

Relationships are a constant source of lessons - if you are willing to see them as such. Every disagreement, every choice you make together, every time your partner does or says something that surprises you: You have a unique opportunity to learn. You can ignore the chance or you can snap it up and put it to good use improving your life and your relationship.

3) There are no mistakes - only lessons: Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The 'failed' experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately 'works'.

Growth is the key word here. If you truly wish to grow and change - to become more of the person you are capable of being - every 'mistake' is an insight into your learning process. If something goes 'wrong', figure out why - together if you can - and change your behaviour or circumstances so it will not go 'wrong' again. The same applies if there is any nagging contention between partners - the ability (and willingness) to communicate honestly your feelings on any issue is the best tool you can have in your attempt to grow as a person.

4) A lesson is repeated until it is learned: A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it, then you can go on to the next lesson.

This is a classic. You will keep on creating relationships with the same problems unless you resolve them first in yourself. See number 6 for more on this.

5) Learning lessons does not end: There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

If you think you know everything about anything then you're wrong. In this most amazing of worlds we inhabit, the only thing certain is change. Every second of our experience changes us in some way - even if it is only an extra second of memory stored away - we are all changing all the time. If everything is always changing, then learning can never end. You will never know your partner completely; few people ever know themselves. He/She will always surprise you with some new or different facet of themselves, no matter how much time you have spent together. Many people create problems in their relationships by thinking that they know their partner better than they do, thus taking them for granted and making decisions for them.

6) 'There' is no better than 'here': When your 'there' has become a 'here' you will simply obtain another 'there' that will, again, look better than 'here'.

If your current relationship isn't 'working' what makes you think your next one will be any different? If you or your partner lack the communication or relationship skills to deal with what is happening now in your relationship then you will eventually find yourself running into the same roadblock in every relationship you enter. I stress the word 'skills' because I believe that successful and fulfilling relationships are made not 'found'. The skills needed to make a relationship work can be learned!

7) Others are merely mirrors of you: You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

The principle here, is that you can't recognise anything in anybody else unless you have already recognised and experienced the same thing, to some extent, in yourself. Thus anything that annoys you or gives you pleasure in your partner is ultimately a reflection of something in yourself. When it is something you love, it is probably something you need to recognise more of in yourself: When it is something you hate, it is probably something you have too much of and need to unlearn. People tend to pair based on mutual learning needs at some level.

8) What you make of your life is up to you: You have all the tools and resources you need; what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

What you make of your relationship is up to you! You get back what you put in - if you're both putting in you can get back even more (it multiplies). How much you let go, how much of your true self you reveal and how honest you are all affect your partner's attitude and responses in the same areas. You can change your relationship single handedly - just change yourself.

9) The answers lie inside you: The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

The greatest minds in the world have always admitted their inspiration to come from an unknown source within. We all have this inner source; whether our concerns are of life and love or what to cook for dinner, our inner selves have all the answers - not our logical brains.

10) WHETHER YOU THINK YOU CAN OR CAN'T, IN EITHER CASE YOU'LL BE RIGHT.

And most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be!

11) YOU WILL FORGET ALL OF THIS.

Ha ha ha - too true!